


New Chapters

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious Thoughts, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nerves, Nevada road trip, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 02:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Phil thinks about the future and new chapters as they set off on their Nevada road trip with Martyn and Cornelia.





	New Chapters

**Author's Note:**

> thank you callie for beta reading this for me <3

Phil was the kind of person that was a planner. Spontaneity was great and romantic but the anxiety it induced was often not worth it.

There were exceptions. Japan had been one of the best decisions he ever made. He glanced over at the smiling slightly intoxicated curly haired man to his left. It was different this time. Japan wasn’t scary because he wasn’t the only one in on it. 

This time Dan was oblivious and no matter how much planning Phil put into it, he knew that at the end of the day it would be out of his hands.

The ring was safe in its box that was in a bag that was buried in an inside pocket of Cornelia’s suitcase. 

She was the only one that knew Phil’s plan for their much deserved vacation and he hoped he didn’t have to make her keep the secret for too much of the road trip they were beginning early the next morning. Phil looked back and Dan and huffed out a quiet laugh to himself.

“We need to go to bed,” he muttered quietly in Dan’s ear. “We’re leaving early, I’m tired, and you are  _ drunk _ .”   
Dan laughed delightedly and leaned back in his chair, staring at Phil through happy hooded eyes. There was a suggestive air to him that Phil knew wouldn't likely end up going anywhere with how late it was. 

Phil tried not to let the fondness shine through on his face, knowing an intoxicated Dan would have a field day with it. 

“Get up.” Phil laughed and tugged on his arm.

He was expecting it to be a battle but was pleasantly surprised to find Dan lenient and quick to rise by his side, stumbling and leaning back on him slightly for support. 

It was not even an hour later that night, while Dan snored obliviously half nude next to Phil in the dark of their room that Phil felt like something was off. 

He was eager to see the reaction of Dan’s last performance towards the end of the convention. Dan did a phenomenal job and Phil was proud. Even though he was contradicting what he had just said the day before of keeping his nose out of their indirects, sometimes it was nice to see the other’s excitement and same level of pride in Dan.

He scrolled through Twitter, looking through tweets about vidcon and peeking at various remarks from their viewers. There would always be comments that bothered him. It was why he generally stayed away unless he was actually mentioned or tagged. These comments seemed to settle deep under Phil’s skin. 

_ “Commitment issues. I told you guys they aren’t together. The USED to be. It’s obvious really” _

_ “ComMMiTmeNT IsSuES. Phil who???”  _

_ “OMG he’s trying to tell us he is single for the lads” _

_ “Wow dan talks about commitment issues an awful lot. Hmmmmmmm” _

He made himself close out of Twitter and plug his phone into the charger far enough away he wouldn’t be tempted to look at it again that night at least. 

The velvet box hidden away weighed heavy on him. Comments like that  _ have _ always and  _ would _ always be there, he knew that. 

Still… their lives were changing and things were already different than they had been a month ago.

He pulled the duvet up to his chin and turned to face Dan. 

The light from the window cascaded across the middle of his face, highlighting the freckles that were lightly dusted beneath his eyes. His breathing was low and melodic. Phil felt his own evening along with it and his chest unclenched a bit. 

It was the same Dan he fell in love with a decade ago, a little taller, a lot happier, braver, bolder but when he stripped it all away it was still his Dan. 

He felt different at times, and different was scary. Different wasn’t a word Phil associated with Dan. Different was something Phil had to push out of his mind for the night or he’d never sleep. It was still his Dan.

He scooted closer, knowing full well they’d wake up too warm and uncomfortably sweaty but he wouldn’t worry Dan over his mind being unkind. Big decisions did that kind of thing to his head. He pressed his face against Dan’s chest and let the rhythm of his heartbeat lull him to sleep. 

  
  


“You look exhausted, mate.” Dan said, peering worriedly at Phil’s face the next morning as they sat in the back of the car Martyn rented. He was wide awake and vibrating with a cocktail of excitement and anticipation for their trip to start. 

“Did you not sleep well?” He squeezed Phil’s thigh gently. “I know my drunk ass  _ unfortunately _ wasn’t what kept you up.” 

Phil laughed with a nod. “You really should be the one that’s feeling poorly today. I just had trouble falling asleep, is all.”

“Well you have a few hours to sleep before we get there.” Cornelia chirped with a smile as she climbed into the front passenger seat. Martyn followed suit behind the steering wheel. 

They had just barely gotten out of LA when Phil’s stomach started to turn. 

“I can trade you seats, Phil. Would it be better up front?” Cornelia asked in a soft voice, noticing Phil’s pinched expression.

He shook his head frantically, not trusting speaking for the time being.

“Once it starts it’s kind of inevitable until we’re done moving.” Dan explained to her. She frowned and turned around in her seat. 

“It’s only a few hours.” He said to Phil in a tender voice. He carded his fingers through Phil’s quiff before pulling him gently to rest on his lap. “Catch up on some sleep?”

Phil nodded against the rough denim of Dan’s jeans. 

  
  


“There’s an outdoor shower!” Dan laughed as they toured the air b&b they were calling home for the weekend.

“What?” Martyn jogged over to see and burst into laughter. “I am not going to shower outside! At least they have the ones inside too.” 

“I might,” Phil said and laughed at his brother’s scandalized expression. 

“Look at this pool though. It looks nice.” 

“We were talking about it while you were sleeping but I think we’re going to go on a hike, stretch our legs.” Cornelia smiled at Phil. 

“You guys want to come with?” Martyn asked. 

“I think we’ll stay here,” Dan said. Phil glanced at him in surprise and opened his mouth to argue but Dan shook his head. “Maybe we can go in the pool for awhile. Vidcon was a lot and you feel ill. Let’s just relax?”

“Fine,” Phil relented. He didn’t particularly mind missing out on hiking, but he knew Dan had been excited about it. He huffed a sigh and went into their cabin. He felt defeated by his motion sickness but knew trudging around in the heat wouldn’t help him feel any better. 

“We have plenty of time to go hiking,” a low voice said in his ear as a familiar face wedged it’s way onto Phil’s shoulder.

“I know. It’s just that you were looking forward to it.” 

Dan shrugged and laced his arms around Phil’s middle, inching them up under his shirt. 

“There’s an outdoor shower,” he repeated himself from earlier in a quiet, meek voice that Phil saw right through. 

He thought about arguing, the mere thought of his brother catching them in the act made him want to disappear but he knew they’d be gone for quite some time. The area they were hiking to was just shy of an hour away. 

A puff of hot breath raised the goosebumps on his neck before smoothing them down with a pair of hot lips that were pulled into a mischievous grin. 

Phil tilted his head to give Dan more room to work and hummed a quiet noise of faux disapproval. “Alright but you’re doing all the work.” 

Dan pressed an excited wet kiss to Phil’s cheek and hurried to grab towels and toiletries from their bathroom.

Dan grabbed Phil’s hand and lead him outside to where the red brick shower was sitting innocently. He had already stripped down to his pants that Phil couldn’t help but noticing were already starting to tent. Dan grinned over at him, unashamed and unbothered as he quickly stripped out of his pants and ducked into the water.

He stared at Phil hungrily, water streaming from his hair down in front of his eyes but ke kept staring as he wrapped a hand around himself. 

Phil tore his clothes off and pressed a small blue bottle into Dan’s other hand eagerly.

“Which way are we doing,  _ oh– _ ” Phil watched as Dan poured the lube on his fingers and quickly reached behind himself, eyes fluttering but still maintaining eye contact as he fingered himself open. 

“You really want this don’t you?” Phil tried to say casually but could hear the growl and want in his voice. 

Dan bit his lip and whined. “I really do, yeah,” he breathed out with a laugh.

Phil took each of their cock’s in a hand out of impatience. He squeezed himself gently and slid his hand up and down Dan, pausing to run his thumb across the head.

“Okay that’s good enough, come on,” Dan said quick, in one breath and pulled Phil closer. He kissed him surprisingly sweetly under the stream. 

Phil laughed against his lips and pulled Dan’s hips to his. “You’re killing me,” Dan whined as they brushed against each other.

Dan kissed Phil again quickly and chaste before turning around and bracing himself against the wall. 

Phil wasted no time lining himself up and pressed slowly into the hot, tight heat. In a delirious, ridiculous way, having sex with Dan felt like home.

He looked up at the cloudless sky as he bottomed out with a groan. The sun was beating down deliciously warming their skin in the cool water. He glanced around at the vast, empty desert, outlined with rolling purple hills in the distance.

He pulled back slowly and snapped his hips forward. 

“Oh!” Dan pushed back as far as he could until Phil got the memo. 

He slowly inched back just to slam in again. He repeated over and over, feeling high off of just how good Dan felt. Dan tightened around him as he leaned all the way back, pressing his back flat to Phil’s chest and hung his head back on Phil’s shoulder. He turned his head and sucked lightly on Phil’s neck. 

Phil doubled his speed, digging his fingers into Dan’s hips. The desert surrounding them faded away and it was just the two of them moving together, chasing the itch they were so good at scratching together. 

Dan put his arm up and tugged his fingers in Phil’s hair, drawing a loud grunt out of him and with one last push forward Phil was coming harder than he could remember. 

“Oh my god.” Phil started to pull out but Dan whimpered and pressed a hand to Phil’s ass, keeping him in place.

“Please stay in! Please stay.”

“Alright, okay I’m staying.” Phil soothed Dan and was quick to replace Dan’s hand on his cock with his own. 

He barely started pumping Dan when he felt him spasm around him, almost painfully with how sensitive he was getting to be and watched the stone wall be painted with his cum.

“Jesus Christ Phil you’re going to kill me one of these days.” Dan wrapped Phil in his arms and kissed him deeply. Phil kissed back with fervor, hoping it conveyed the love and emotion he was feeling but couldn’t express with his brain’s current state of a sex induced puddle.

“Let’s get clean.” He finally said in a quiet voice. “I don’t want Martyn and Cornelia to walk in on us.” 

Dan laughed but was quick to grab a glob of shampoo and dropped it into Phil’s hair.    
“Let’s hurry then, I wasn’t joking about that pool.” 

They washed each other’s hair and Phil was left alone while he washed his body as Dan went to grab their trunks. 

He felt light with the love he carried for that man, and couldn’t wait to say it plain and simple. They were the kind of couple who spoke in quiet touches and gestures, but Phil found himself excited to gush about all the things he loved about Dan when he finally popped the question. 

“Here you go.” Dan tossed the swim trunks at Phil’s head with a cackle, effectively quieting the loving thoughts. 

“Let’s go to a lounger and soak some of this sun up.” He linked an arm through Phil’s the second Phil was dressed and started pulling him across the warm pavement. 

Phil saw with a rush of warmth their phones, two towels and a couple of drinks they packed with them from LA sitting on one of the tables. 

He untangled himself from Dan and stopped to watch him look back with a question on his face. 

Phil hurried forward and pushed him into the pool with gleeful laugh. Dan grabbed his arm, essentially dragging him into the shocking cool water as well but it was worth it.

“That's for saying you’d do the work and then having me do  _ all _ of it!” Phil roared with laughter when they surfaced.

“You  _ absolute _ dick.” Dan laughed and splashed him. 

  
  


Phil was propped up on the edge of the pool by his elbows peacefully floating when Martyn and Cornelia came back. 

“Still in the pool? You a prune yet?” Cornelia teased.

“On and off. It’s so nice out today.” Phil smiled up at her. 

She nodded over to where Dan was toasting himself on a lounger, his nose slightly whistling in his sleep with each exhale. “He swim himself into exhaustion?”

Phil hoped any color in his cheeks would be taken as too much sun. 

_ Something like that.  _

“Yeah, well, you know Dan, he wants to swim but then he lays on the lounger all day.” 

She rolled her eyes and nodded, knowing too well from previous family trips. Martyn sat on the edge of the pool and danged his feet into the water.

“We found a place not to far from here that is supposed to be really good for stargazing. I thought we could all go after dinner unless you’re still ill?” He questioned. 

“I’m feeling a lot better. That sounds good.” 

Cornelia beamed at him in a knowing way that made his insides twist. Maybe he should propose tonight under the stars. It was just the first night though, he should scope out his options first. He subtly shook his head and she nodded quickly in understanding.

“Well, I think I’m going to shower.” Cornelia skipped towards hers and Martyn’s cabin.

“Oi you showering inside right? I just can’t imagine the absolute filth that’s happened in these outdoor showers.” 

Cornelia laughed. “Yeah, let’s not go down that road, shall we?” She ducked behind their door and with a quiet click the desert was silent save for the occasional splash of Martyn’s feet.

“If you guys want to stay on the road with us longer you can. You deserve a break.”

“I’ll let him know.” Phil said with a small smile. They both knew the chances of them staying longer were slim. They were eager to unpack boxes after boxes of their newly purchased forever home, as well as start getting regular content out again.

“Dan’s pins were really selling at vidcon.” Martyn had the far away look he would get on his face when he was lost in his work and projects. “I had a lot of people comment on the new chapter one. Guess it really is a whole new chapter isn’t it?” 

Phil forced out a dry laugh he hoped was convincing. New chapter, commitment issues… he couldn’t help the feeling of dread wash back over him. That didn’t spell out ‘this man wants to get married’. It had been years since they really talked about it seriously and neither of them had been adamant at the time. So much has changed. Dan really was in a new chapter of his life. A chapter he never got to have before as a free, out gay man. Part of Phil wanted to hole him up from the rest of the world and hide him away. 

The other part, the currently fairly loud part of Phil wanted Dan to be able to shine one hundred percent his happy free self. Maybe Phil was going about this all the wrong way. What if what Dan really wanted, needed, was to be free?    
A ring around his finger would weigh him down and Phil didn’t want him to be weighed down. 

He looked over at the sleeping man, droolin light on himself while light snores echoed in the patio.

He realized with a jolt his brother told him he was going inside and managed to utter a response before he unlocked the door and disappeared from view.

Phil’s shoulders sagged once he was alone. 

Their world felt off. Maybe marriage would just be slapping a plaster on it. 

Dan yawned loudly and stretched out. He waved at Phil and sat with a content expression on his face that somehow only made Phil feel guiltier. He was being daft, Dan loved him. He knew their solution wasn’t to part ways, but he couldn’t help feeling like he was holding him back from bigger, greater things. Getting married wouldn’t help that.

  
  


*

“We should have taken more pictures together at sunset tonight.” Dan sighed under the covers at Phil’s side.

“We took like five how is that not enough?” Phil whispered back. It felt wrong for anything to be louder than a whisper in the silence of the open desert. Dan had taken an array of pictures of the two of them from varying degrees of sappy and coupley. 

Dan shrugged, jostling Phil annoyingly when doing so. “Feels different, doesn’t it? Like I’m not going to post any of these pictures of just you and I on instagram or anything…” 

“But you could,” Phil finished for him.

“I could now,” Dan agreed. He was quiet for a few minutes, enough Phil thought he maybe drifted to sleep in the darkness of their room and was startled when he piped up again.

“I think I’m going to go sit by the pool and look at the stars more.”

Phil could hear him slide out of bed and could barely make out the shadow of him make his way to the door. When he cracked it open the blue moonlight cast dramatic shapes across Dan’s face and outlined his tall stature. It lit up in the curls on his head. 

He shut the door behind him gently without another word and Phil felt panic take a hold of him. 

He didn’t like change. It felt like something big was coming. Something that he couldn’t control and he dreaded thinking about what it could be.

Maybe he should talk to Dan. Maybe they should take a small break and he could find what he needs to in himself. Phil couldn’t handle feeling like he prevented that. Eighteen was so young and maybe Phil had been too greedy with not wanting to share with the rest of the world. 

“Dan?” He peeked his head out of the doorway and was alarmed to see Dan sniffling to himself, the bright light from the moon highlighting the tracks down his cheeks.

“Dan! What– Did I do something?” Phil said, much too loudly. He wanted to take all of his thoughts back. He didn’t want to let Dan go. 

Dan scrambled to wipe his face and jumped up from his seat. “Hey, go to bed,” He croaked. “It’s fine. We’re going to hike early while it’s cool so get some sleep, yeah?”

Phil stumbled forward and pulled Dan into his arms. The nighttime desert air chilled his bare torso. 

“What’s wrong? Please tell me. I’m freaking myself out over here with new chapters and missed experiences and I want you to be able to live your life as an out gay man to the fullest. I don’t want to be what holds you back from that. I love you. I love you so much, Dan.” 

Dan pulled back and stared at Phil, bewildered. 

He took Phil by surprise by leaning forward and kissing him soundlessly and softly.

“I love you.” Big brown eyes filled back up with tears. “More than I can ever express but– but I  _ could _ now. I  _ can _ express it. If I wanted to, if we decided to. I am living my life to the fullest as an out gay man who is lucky enough to have the love of his life by his side. It’s–” he motioned wildly, “ _ overwhelming _ ! And a– a part of me feels so guilty and almost ashamed for not being able to feel this way with you sooner. I feel cheated by myself and I hate that.” He cupped Phil’s face and leaned back to meet Phil’s eyes. A shooting star soared through the black, star spotted sky behind him. 

“Phil, I–”

“Marry me.” Phil interrupted. 

Dan sputtered out a disbelieving laugh and hit Phil’s arm. “Way to steal my moment!” he yelled.

Phil laughed with him but just shook his head. “I mean it. I don’t care when or how or any of the logistics of it. I don’t actually care if it actually ever physically happens. I just want you to know that I fully intend on spending the rest of my life with you and if you wanted to too I would tell every person I ever meet that and call you my husband.”

“That sounds,” Dan sniffed, “really really nice, Phil.” He nodded before succumbing to gentle sobs that wracked his body that was progressively more entwined with Phil’s.

A small applause startled them both and Phil looked over to see a sleepy looking Martyn and Cornelia, both with dopey smiles on their faces. 

Cornelia walked over and shoved the soft box into Phil’s hand before squeezing his arm gently and returning to Martyn.

“How do you magically have a ring?” Dan laughed with a bout of fresh tears.

Phil just shrugged with a grin as he slid the black band onto Dan’s finger. 

“New chapter, right?” 

“New chapter,” Dan confirmed and sealed it with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> double thanks to callie for assuring me my smut wasn't awful haha. <3 <3  
If you liked this please let me know!  
  
if you want to [ reblog it on tumbler you can here! ](https://tortitabby.tumblr.com/post/187761066100/new-chapters)   
I would appreciate it greatly <3


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